Arrested Development’s Tobias Funke is Queen Mary
Alright, folks! Laurel here, ready to delve into the lovely pool of Arrested Development again! Today, my post is all about Tobias Funke, the second love of my life (right behind Lucille Bluth). Today’s post is completely dedicated to the accomplished psychiatrist, self-diagnosed never-nude, and newly-found actor. So, with needing just a slight introduction, here are my favorite Tobias Funke moments.
1. “Oh, I’m sorry Michael, I’m afraid I just blue myself.”
Tobias’ endless quest to join the Blue Man Group leads to much amusement. Although he at first confuses it as men who are ‘blue with sadness’, he finally realizes the real meaning. Throughout Tobias’ blue man phase, which continues through season 3, you will see blue paint smudged all over the house.
2. The FIRE!! sale…
This audition for a small clothing boutique’s fire sale is just completely hilarious. Of course, Tobias takes it a little too far and thinks it is suppose to be a real fire. The first line reads perfectly, “OH MY GOD! WE’RE HAVING A FIRE!! Sale…” and continues with the dramatic, “I’m in a burning building” monologue.
Here is a video that showcases Tobias Funke’s audition:
3. His endless self-denial…
Tobias Fünke: (In reference to the spa treatment passes he received for himself and Lindsay) I’m afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run if you will, so I’m afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.
Michael Bluth: There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.
Tobias Funke almost always refers to how much he prefers men, but will never fully admit it to Lindsay. This complete self-denial about his true sexuality always gets me! Here is another, perfect video example:
4. Tobias leaves his perfectly good career to fulfill his long lost dream of becoming an actor:
Throughout the short three seasons, Tobias never has a real job. He gets a few auditions (See: I Love Tobias reason #2), but mostly blows them. His sadness toward never making his acting career happen, makes my (and most others’) happiness.
5. Mrs. Featherbottom:
Tobias pulls a Mrs. Doubtfire to try and get closer to his daughter, Maeby, and his wife, Lindsay. The problem is, Mrs. Featherbottom is very obviously Tobias. At one point, Tobias is desperate for his family to “figure out” it is really him beneath the old british nanny persona. When Michael forgets to play along, and refers to him as Tobias, he gets extremely excited that Michael has finally “figured out” the mystery of Mrs. Featherbottom. Here are a few actual, laugh-out-loud videos of Tobias/Mrs. Featherbottom:
And this shared moment between Buster and Mrs. Featherbottom/Tobias is pure gold!
… I am pretty sure all of Mrs. Featherbottom’s debuts in the show are my favorite thing in the world.
6. Dr. Tobias Funke’s 100% Natural Good-Time Family Band Solution:
This is the one time the Funke clan is together and actually happy, mostly due to the Teamocil Lindsay is hopped on. Still, it’s 100%!
7. Tobias’ last official title, the world’s first analrapist (or an analyst and therapist all at once):
His choice of words are what makes Tobias who he is: a blowhard, an understudy to the blue man group (hence the “I just blue myself” line), and an analyst and therapist, or an “analrapist”. As Michael says, “It’s not the pronunciation I am worried about.”
8. Those gosh darn hair plugs…
“Oh, come on, don’t leave your Uncle T-Bag hanging!”
To up his acting career, poor, bald Tobias has a genius idea of getting hair plugs. As you can see from the picture above, it doesn’t really work out and he ends getting very sick because he refuses to let go of his luscious locks. The Bluth family organizes a charity for him, but, when guests find out that all he needs to survive is to take out the ridiculous hair plugs, all hell breaks loose! There are no good videos of the hair plug epidemic, but here are some amazing AD stills to satisfy the Tobias hair plug craving!
9. Finally, we absolutely CANNOT forget about the whole “never-nude” issue. As the narrator states, “Tobias was a never-nude, which is exactly what it sounds like.” Tobias is completely terrified of being entirely nude, thus sporting the never-nude short, cut-off shorts…everywhere! The pool, the sauna, the SHOWER, this man sports them as much as he can. The poor guy is completely in shock about the nude human body, and I absolutely love it!
Cross truly embraces and accepts Tobias for all he is and goes beyond what is written in the script. He truly brings the real Tobias out for all to see. If you happen to catch some behind-the-scenes videos of David Cross in action, you find out that the comic ad-libs pretty much all of Tobias’ lines! God love ya, David Cross! Not only are you an amazing stand-up comic, but you perfectly play the character of Tobias so well!
Well kids, that’s it for this week’s “Arrested Development” update, and remember… 9 MORE DAYS!!!